How Do You Navigate Social Media

Part 1

To say the view out my back window is a heaven of sorts is no exaggeration…Whether you believe in a heaven or nirvana or on to your next life, the importance of gratitude in this life cannot be underestimated. Gratitude, the new buzz word, is a valuable daily practice.

‘My day has been fantastic.’ How many posts on social media do we see on a daily basis, that tell us this! Beautiful quotes. Beautifully designed. Pictures or videos of beautiful people smiling at us fabulously. Daily exposures or reminders. Deciphering the authentic in life these days becomes trickier.

We all have our own ways of analysing who or what we believe. It all depends on which end of the spectrum resonates with you in your interactions with any of the platforms out there. There are so many, and they are meeting a perceived need by people. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Linkedin, Tic Tac or whatever your fancy is. How we analyse depends on our life experience, particularly in your formative years of childhood. Some of us are moulded in a very secure environment. One where encouragement was provided and age appropriate honesty was pervasive, the good the bad and the ugly of life, so to speak. Alternatively, criticism may have been the order of the day…everyday. Love may have been conditional and displays of emotion discouraged. The good ole Catholic ethos of children should be seen and not heard is familiar to some. Do what God tells you or tells your parents to tell you. Straight to hell otherwise. Kinda bleak hey!

Coming from ‘your’ place of self esteem, are you the total sceptic who believes all forms of social media are rubbish? Logically can this be true. Might it not be fun or useful? Or are you the person that believes if I do what they say or if I look like that person, my life will be so fabulous… or at least more fabulous than it feels right now. Logically can this be true? Might it not be better being you? Some of you are screaming, at least inside your head, well of course that can’t be, because I’m right and that is utter nonsense. Just remember the person sitting next to you believes the same thing, only they are at a different end of that knowing spectrum. Oh yes and they are one of your siblings… or you best friend or your partner. Easier to disagree or agree if you are fundamentalist in your views, but perhaps a dangerous stance to take.

Part 2 next week…

I don’t remember the conversation that day, but I remember how I felt…

Its been 10 years since I received that phonecall. It’s cancer, it’s stage 4, there are mets. Disbelief….Acceptance….Gut wrenching heart breaking pain. This is why I volunteer in ARC cancer support.

It’s funny how time creates distance and lessens the intensity of emotion. But also, how easily I can tap in those feelings, when I allow myself to go there. Most days the missing is there but it is less intense. The mad thing is, he half jokingly said ‘you won’t even miss me when I’m gone’, or ‘you won’t even think about me’. I hope he realises, wherever he is, that could not be further from the truth! I miss him. There is not a day that goes by, that I don’t think of him. Ironically, when he was alive, I spoke to him less than I do now! Reflecting back, he was always in my thoughts. The irony of humanness, has meant time melted away any anger or hurt in our relationship. It is gone and only the feeling of love remains. A gift from him.

I am for sure more understanding of him as a person as I move on in years. Wisdom comes with understanding, and time creates more opportunity for learning.

Learning is an inevitably for those of us that choose to let go of ego. This allows us to experience the complexity of human emotions and behaviours in a more simple way. The simple version of life, love and forgiveness is all the is required. Us humans like to complicate life it seems.

I am interested now in how my behaviours impacted our relationship, but that conversation can never happen. I know I wish I listened more. I’m not sure why that conversation could not have happened then either.

I am so grateful for the opportunity we had that night on the sofa in front of the fire. It was Christmas night. We were watching a stupid Western that neither of us could concentrate on, because of the giant bloomin’ elephant in the room, death and dying. I still have that DVD. As I watched him beside me I started to cry. And he started to cry. I had only ever seen him crying twice previously. Still, in that moment, all he wanted to do was protect me from hurt. All I wanted to do, was to protect him and always have him in my life. I wanted to take his pain away. I wanted to allow him to feel safe instead of scared. He told me I would be fine. I couldn’t tell him the same. So I cried more. He, of course, is still is in my life because he is part of me. But the pain that night is something I treasure and will never forget. You cannot feel that kind of pain without absolute love.

The second moment in time I am truly grateful for is that day when we were in the hospice, just the two of us in that room, listening to classical music….in hindsight he much preferred jazz, dixie land to be precise. I felt it might hurt him as he was so weakened by the disease. It felt to jazzy for me. He was sleeping a lot at this point and he woke. Our eyes locked in time. I told him how much I loved him, and the power of those words when they were reciprocated is one of the biggest gifts he has left me with. No man will ever love me like he did. How did I never realise that before he left! He was no saint, he made mistakes as we all do. He was far quicker to forgive than I was. I’m still working on that one, this blog is a nice reminder. Another gift or lesson he left me.

I appreciate what he did for me far more now. I know he knew I loved and love him. I should have told him more.

Occasionally, sometimes more than occasionally, random moments in time, the thought comes, and I miss him with the same intensity. Thats ok. Thats love.

Thanks Dad.

Out With The Old & In With the New....click here

Out with the old & in with the new...hmm I’m not really a Happy New Years person... I’m more of a cup half full everyday kinda gal. If I’m having a challenging day, it will get better..or it might get worse before it gets better BUT it will get better. 2019 has been an incredible year for me in terms of making decisions & following through on them. Nothing happens for any of us instantaneously, although for some bonkers reason I always assume it will!

I used to say I preferred dogs to humans, but 2019 has shown me repeatedly how many great humans there are all around us. Therefor, I’m putting us humans on a par with dogs...this year at least 😉.

I am so grateful, to every new person I’ve met, people I’ve reconnected with, my family, definitely new friends I’ve made, & all the people I now know that share a similar value system to me. I am most grateful to the people that shoved me out of my comfort zone...repeatedly👍 You know who you are. A special mention to Nicola & Amanda. I could actually just write a list of all the people that guide and push and cheer me on, but I make a point of expressing gratitude on a regular basis, so that base is covered.

I’m truly grateful for all the incredible opportunities...which I created for learning & upskilling. Training requires investment & the willing choice of not doing or having as a result. It means time, energy, determination, travelling, new ways of thinking which challenges previous beliefs. It’s never easy accepting a previous system is flawed but I embrace the understanding why. I absolutely love that. Lightbulb moments in life, you simply cannot put a price on those. This leads to the rationale of change & putting that into practice in my worjk and sometimes my personal life.

Being told the system you use is flawed is challenging for many people. I am not talking at people as a result. However, I know although never intentional, I make some people uncomfortable, because it pushes people them out of their comfort zone. I do not judge people for that. This is not some ‘ego buzz’, that I know best. I don’t. I know best for me only, with the knowledge I have. The world was flat until it wasn’t right!

The discomfort where growth happens. This is where the magic of life is, that shift in mindset to being a better version of what you were, to what you are now. This happens in our personal & professional lives, because inevitably it can’t happen in one & not in the other. This lesson was a huge learning curve for me this year. I am a service provider. I bring me into my job. It is the professional me but my value system is the same in and outside work.

Learning creates understanding the world from a different perspective. Learning in different countries with people from different cultures, the icing on the cake for me personally. This enables me to then use, in my experience, what actually affects the people I see in my work, not only in a positive way, but in an empowering way. It’s not guess work. It’s not makey uppy!! It’s training with experts with decades of experience in addition to my own & kaboom 💥 It’s the behind the scenes hard slog. It’s that huge effort that creates the rewards. Its about doing things that make you feel physically sick & standing out & using your voice & feeling dizzy on your own vulnerability. And then you receive your reward. It’s about speaking your truth. The bottom line is, I know there is another system for health & quality of life that can be life changing for people. In 2020 I’m going to share more. Embracing discomfort is once again on my list of 2020 things that will get done.

Whatever your reflections are on for 2019, I can fully guarantee you, if you choose for 2020 to be your best yesr for learning, it will happen.

ThankU Universe

Forever grateful

Sinéad