How do you navigate social media in your life

Part 1.………….To say the view out my back window is a heaven of sorts is no exaggeration…Whether you believe in a heaven or nirvana or on to your next life, the importance of gratitude in this life cannot be underestimated. Gratitude, the new buzz word, is a valuable daily practice.

...Part 3

Do you think, the issue you need to be concerned about is social media and how it impacts you? It’s an interactive medium. It’s takes two to tango. I think we instead need to focus on gratitude, and on that little bit of heaven that already exists in our lives. Those thoughts don’t just happen. That needs commitment. Social media provides a distraction. I’m not sure it does much more than that for the person you are or I am. It certainly hasn’t made anyone I’ve ever met feel fabulous about themselves. In fairness social media did not invent fabulousness. At some point in your life, if not now, you compared yourself to others, and rated yourself accordingly, to your scale of whatever societal norms or marketing genius you were exposed to. Nobody ever felt fabulous all of the time. It is though important to feel fabulous occasionally. Peace regularly and grateful no matter what.

We now know we can change the physical anatomy in our brains. It’s called neuroplasticity. If you want to get excited about something in your life, get excited about knowing that. Not about a social media post! Your body has the ability to grow new neurons, new pathways, new ways of thinking, new ways of feeling. You create the pathways you focus on. You might not be in a great headspace today, but in you lies the ability to become your version of fabulous occasionally. More often than that, is probably a sign of madness! Or perhaps, which is often the case, you realise you already are amazing. Somedays you believe it and others meh not so sure.

The view outside my window is not manicured green lawns or Dermot Bannons new garden. It’s a little wild, untamed, and loved. I am so grateful I can see it. I can walk outside and experience it. I can take a deep breath and fill my lungs with clean air. I can remember running through it as a child to my den in it’s corner.. with the family doggo at my childhood side. It is now vibrant alive surrounded by Winter colours and so am I. Heaven is a relative thing. Just think about your own version. The gratitude you have for your idea of heaven feels the same for everyone, who experiences gratitude.

Where do you find gratitude and how do you set your intensions everyday. I know you probably know this already but here you go regardless. Get yourself a notebook if you like to write. I've lost every notebook I've ever had so that was not the choice for me!! Alternatively, open up a new document and everyday you tap on those keys. This one I like.It’s in writing so I have committed to it. It is a statement in black and white and on some level my brain responds to that. This next option I don’t have the self discipline for, but you may have. Of course, you don’t have to write it, but you have to commit & create the habit of every morning when you wake up, it is the first thought you consciously think of. Then you sit with those thoughts for 5 minutes.

• I am grateful & I am on my way to feeling fabulous.

• I will meet and share the experience with people by smiling and making eye contact and thats it. A positive exchange. Stop and chat or not.

• I will make positive choices the are beneficial to my body.

That is all. Those 3 lines are plenty. Then you add actual experiences under each line. It doesn't matter if you are writing I am grateful for the bowl of cornflakes I just eat. Noooooo please don't do that to your body, salt and sugar are not things to be grateful for! I jest but stay away from the flakes! It is not what your content is that matters. If it is something simple like, I am grateful I woke up today, and therefor I am on my way to feeling fabulous. great. You keep going. You keep doing. You consistently train your brain and it becomes easier. You begin to see the beauty of life everywhere, in yourself, in the world, in the people around you. It is everywhere when you look.

3 lines of whatever works for you.

If that is all you write when you start that is more than enough. If you have a bad day fine, gratitude for the good ones and on you go. Gratitude grows. It takes on a life of it’s own.

Navigating your way through social media becomes much easier. No algorithm in the world can suck you in for very long, once you know in every sense of the word, you do dno’t need it in your life, to make you feel the fabulous. You already are. I’m not anti social media, it is a very useful tool. I just use it in the knowing it is not my reality, it is a reality all out there on it’s own.

How Do You Navigate Social Media Part 2

Previously…

‘My day has been fantastic.’ How many posts on social media do we see on a daily basis, that tell us this! Beautiful quotes. Beautifully designed. Pictures or videos of beautiful people smiling at us fabulously. Daily exposures or reminders. Deciphering the authentic in life these days becomes trickier.

Continuing to part 2…

Lets take siblings. How can that be that your outlook is so different? You grew up in the same environment. Well it’s because life changes, and society evolves and stuff happens in families. Perhaps you were diagnosed with a childhood illness? Perhaps your Mums pregnancy with you was different. Perhaps there was more money around when you were growing up, and you had more opportunities that your siblings. It doesn’t make either of your opinions better, it’s just the formation of different perspectives. There are so many variables. Nothing stays the same. Experts debate on nature over nurture and visa versa constantly.

Is it not true that our internal environment is as significant as our external one with our thinking minds?

I am more fascinated by the internal one, the physical self and how that impacts our thought processes. I believe if you respect and take responsibility for yourself, you will in turn take joint respect and responsibility for the external environment. If you don’t think your physical health is a priority to look after, how can you trust your thinking and your decision making?

How is that true you might ask. Well try this, when you have a cold with lots of phlegm how’s your concentration? When you have back, knee or hip pain where is your focus? When you are under a lot of stress how are your decision making skills? When you just found out your 14 year old teenager is using recreational drugs, where do your thought processes spiral to? When you are craving fast food and you eat it frequently how’s your mood? When you drink too much alcohol does you body and mind work as efficiently the next day? You simply cannot separate your physical body from the rest of you, because that completes you as a person. If you have chosen to disconnect from that, it’s the best place to start, to get your head into the space you want it to be. Feeling physically stronger will change your perspective on everything. It takes time, with many rewards to motivate you on your way…

PART 3 FRIDAY

How Do You Navigate Social Media

Part 1

To say the view out my back window is a heaven of sorts is no exaggeration…Whether you believe in a heaven or nirvana or on to your next life, the importance of gratitude in this life cannot be underestimated. Gratitude, the new buzz word, is a valuable daily practice.

‘My day has been fantastic.’ How many posts on social media do we see on a daily basis, that tell us this! Beautiful quotes. Beautifully designed. Pictures or videos of beautiful people smiling at us fabulously. Daily exposures or reminders. Deciphering the authentic in life these days becomes trickier.

We all have our own ways of analysing who or what we believe. It all depends on which end of the spectrum resonates with you in your interactions with any of the platforms out there. There are so many, and they are meeting a perceived need by people. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Linkedin, Tic Tac or whatever your fancy is. How we analyse depends on our life experience, particularly in your formative years of childhood. Some of us are moulded in a very secure environment. One where encouragement was provided and age appropriate honesty was pervasive, the good the bad and the ugly of life, so to speak. Alternatively, criticism may have been the order of the day…everyday. Love may have been conditional and displays of emotion discouraged. The good ole Catholic ethos of children should be seen and not heard is familiar to some. Do what God tells you or tells your parents to tell you. Straight to hell otherwise. Kinda bleak hey!

Coming from ‘your’ place of self esteem, are you the total sceptic who believes all forms of social media are rubbish? Logically can this be true. Might it not be fun or useful? Or are you the person that believes if I do what they say or if I look like that person, my life will be so fabulous… or at least more fabulous than it feels right now. Logically can this be true? Might it not be better being you? Some of you are screaming, at least inside your head, well of course that can’t be, because I’m right and that is utter nonsense. Just remember the person sitting next to you believes the same thing, only they are at a different end of that knowing spectrum. Oh yes and they are one of your siblings… or you best friend or your partner. Easier to disagree or agree if you are fundamentalist in your views, but perhaps a dangerous stance to take.

Part 2 next week…

I don’t remember the conversation that day, but I remember how I felt…

Its been 10 years since I received that phonecall. It’s cancer, it’s stage 4, there are mets. Disbelief….Acceptance….Gut wrenching heart breaking pain. This is why I volunteer in ARC cancer support.

It’s funny how time creates distance and lessens the intensity of emotion. But also, how easily I can tap in those feelings, when I allow myself to go there. Most days the missing is there but it is less intense. The mad thing is, he half jokingly said ‘you won’t even miss me when I’m gone’, or ‘you won’t even think about me’. I hope he realises, wherever he is, that could not be further from the truth! I miss him. There is not a day that goes by, that I don’t think of him. Ironically, when he was alive, I spoke to him less than I do now! Reflecting back, he was always in my thoughts. The irony of humanness, has meant time melted away any anger or hurt in our relationship. It is gone and only the feeling of love remains. A gift from him.

I am for sure more understanding of him as a person as I move on in years. Wisdom comes with understanding, and time creates more opportunity for learning.

Learning is an inevitably for those of us that choose to let go of ego. This allows us to experience the complexity of human emotions and behaviours in a more simple way. The simple version of life, love and forgiveness is all the is required. Us humans like to complicate life it seems.

I am interested now in how my behaviours impacted our relationship, but that conversation can never happen. I know I wish I listened more. I’m not sure why that conversation could not have happened then either.

I am so grateful for the opportunity we had that night on the sofa in front of the fire. It was Christmas night. We were watching a stupid Western that neither of us could concentrate on, because of the giant bloomin’ elephant in the room, death and dying. I still have that DVD. As I watched him beside me I started to cry. And he started to cry. I had only ever seen him crying twice previously. Still, in that moment, all he wanted to do was protect me from hurt. All I wanted to do, was to protect him and always have him in my life. I wanted to take his pain away. I wanted to allow him to feel safe instead of scared. He told me I would be fine. I couldn’t tell him the same. So I cried more. He, of course, is still is in my life because he is part of me. But the pain that night is something I treasure and will never forget. You cannot feel that kind of pain without absolute love.

The second moment in time I am truly grateful for is that day when we were in the hospice, just the two of us in that room, listening to classical music….in hindsight he much preferred jazz, dixie land to be precise. I felt it might hurt him as he was so weakened by the disease. It felt to jazzy for me. He was sleeping a lot at this point and he woke. Our eyes locked in time. I told him how much I loved him, and the power of those words when they were reciprocated is one of the biggest gifts he has left me with. No man will ever love me like he did. How did I never realise that before he left! He was no saint, he made mistakes as we all do. He was far quicker to forgive than I was. I’m still working on that one, this blog is a nice reminder. Another gift or lesson he left me.

I appreciate what he did for me far more now. I know he knew I loved and love him. I should have told him more.

Occasionally, sometimes more than occasionally, random moments in time, the thought comes, and I miss him with the same intensity. Thats ok. Thats love.

Thanks Dad.

Out With The Old & In With the New....click here

Out with the old & in with the new...hmm I’m not really a Happy New Years person... I’m more of a cup half full everyday kinda gal. If I’m having a challenging day, it will get better..or it might get worse before it gets better BUT it will get better. 2019 has been an incredible year for me in terms of making decisions & following through on them. Nothing happens for any of us instantaneously, although for some bonkers reason I always assume it will!

I used to say I preferred dogs to humans, but 2019 has shown me repeatedly how many great humans there are all around us. Therefor, I’m putting us humans on a par with dogs...this year at least 😉.

I am so grateful, to every new person I’ve met, people I’ve reconnected with, my family, definitely new friends I’ve made, & all the people I now know that share a similar value system to me. I am most grateful to the people that shoved me out of my comfort zone...repeatedly👍 You know who you are. A special mention to Nicola & Amanda. I could actually just write a list of all the people that guide and push and cheer me on, but I make a point of expressing gratitude on a regular basis, so that base is covered.

I’m truly grateful for all the incredible opportunities...which I created for learning & upskilling. Training requires investment & the willing choice of not doing or having as a result. It means time, energy, determination, travelling, new ways of thinking which challenges previous beliefs. It’s never easy accepting a previous system is flawed but I embrace the understanding why. I absolutely love that. Lightbulb moments in life, you simply cannot put a price on those. This leads to the rationale of change & putting that into practice in my worjk and sometimes my personal life.

Being told the system you use is flawed is challenging for many people. I am not talking at people as a result. However, I know although never intentional, I make some people uncomfortable, because it pushes people them out of their comfort zone. I do not judge people for that. This is not some ‘ego buzz’, that I know best. I don’t. I know best for me only, with the knowledge I have. The world was flat until it wasn’t right!

The discomfort where growth happens. This is where the magic of life is, that shift in mindset to being a better version of what you were, to what you are now. This happens in our personal & professional lives, because inevitably it can’t happen in one & not in the other. This lesson was a huge learning curve for me this year. I am a service provider. I bring me into my job. It is the professional me but my value system is the same in and outside work.

Learning creates understanding the world from a different perspective. Learning in different countries with people from different cultures, the icing on the cake for me personally. This enables me to then use, in my experience, what actually affects the people I see in my work, not only in a positive way, but in an empowering way. It’s not guess work. It’s not makey uppy!! It’s training with experts with decades of experience in addition to my own & kaboom 💥 It’s the behind the scenes hard slog. It’s that huge effort that creates the rewards. Its about doing things that make you feel physically sick & standing out & using your voice & feeling dizzy on your own vulnerability. And then you receive your reward. It’s about speaking your truth. The bottom line is, I know there is another system for health & quality of life that can be life changing for people. In 2020 I’m going to share more. Embracing discomfort is once again on my list of 2020 things that will get done.

Whatever your reflections are on for 2019, I can fully guarantee you, if you choose for 2020 to be your best yesr for learning, it will happen.

ThankU Universe

Forever grateful

Sinéad